Tristan Clark [Ren's First Character]

[Ren]

Name: Tristan Clark
Age: 16
Race: Half-Elf
Gender: Male
Appearance:

He is usually slender in appearance, and tall at 6'0" to some. He weighs only about 150 lbs and while he is malnourished sometimes, he still looks nice and muscular, with those muscles being lean.

Personality: Tristan is a very odd person when you first meet him. He is usually distant from almost everyone, and most of the time uncaring about everything. Deep down Tristan is a hurt guy, but shows himself off as a stone hearted person who doesn't care about anything. His personality probably is because of his parents and his upbringing. His right arm is extremely weak and slow, strike that and you most likely will hit him, but he keeps his weakness a very close secret to him.

Alignment: Neutral
Weapon of Choice: A Katana from his Mentor. Looks like this:

He uses his left arm to swing the blade and his right to hold the sheath. He rarely uses any special moves, but when he does it is something that knocks the opponent back. His favorite move and one of the only special moves he uses is Beast or a variation on it.
Magic: He can use elemental magic, but he's terrible at it and avoids it.
Hobbies: Sleeping, Practicing his sword fighting
History:

Tristan was abandoned when he was born because he was a half-elf that his mother didn't want. When Tristan met her later, she said he was a mistake that should never have been born. So there Tristan was, a newborn child without parents, in the wild where there was bound to be monsters who were going to come and kill him. Tristan couldn't do anything, he was a baby. But then he came. Charlie Knight, a fellow Half-Elf, who was only a teenager at age 15. Charlie took the small child who was just like him and brought him to his base, a small hovel closest to Iselia, but Tristan never went to Iselia. When Tristan was old enough he trained with Charlie on how to use a sword.

During a particularly rigorous training period, Charlie accidently cut Tristan's right arm on the shoulder, rendering it useless for about a year, when it finally was able to be used once more without extreme pain. Charlie felt bad, but kept training Tristan. When Tristan was ten years old, Charlie left him on his own, saying he was called up by a group of people and woud be gone for years. Tristan understood.

Tristan decided to train on the monsters outside of the small hovel, and he began to favor a katana, one that Charlie had bought from a dwarf named Dirk. It wasn't like Tristan cared who made it, but it was powerful and he was good with it, as long as he used his left am to swing the blade. Tristan was hired for jobs and paid for food with the little money he would get. Most of the time people underestimated seeing as he was only a 10 year old at the time, but after a whole life based on training he was an average fighter.

After about 3 years of that, so he would be 13 years old, he decided he would find his mother and see why she abandoned him. He found her in Palmacosta, and when he showed up Sophia, his mother, was scared of him. After a heated conversation, Tristan left broken and soon learned not to care. He also learned of a brother, Travis Clark, whom was a full blooded human, son of his mother. Even though he cursed his mother for hating him, he adopted her last name at that point. The next year when the giant tree ravaged Palmacosta, Tristan tried to save his mother, but it was too much to do, but his brother Travis managed to get out of the city safely. In that same year, the year the two worlds became one, Tristan learned that his mentor, Charlie Knight had been hired by Cruxis to help out the Desians, but when he failed the Desians and Cruxis, the half-elf mentor was turned into one of the lifeless beings, and being killed soon after by Lloyd's group. Tristan didn't care, well he did, but he pretended he didn't care. Deep down he was happy Charlie had been killed for a life as a lifeless being was terrible.

For the next two years Tristan simply traveled around the world, newly united, in search of jobs to pay for his next meal.

[Kudzu Aura]

Alright, first of all, did you draw the image for appearance? If so, then you are better than I am, and kudos. If not, eh, oh well.

Second, I think the part about his arm should go in appearance rather than personality, since it's a physical trait rather than a mental one.

Finally, there's the history. For starters, it's a bit confusing. I'll admit, saying his mother abandoned him when he was born does make sense for how the world views half elves, but saying he met her later and then go back to him being a baby and alone is a grammar issue that can cause confusion. Not to mention that some things like him being unable to do anything as he was a baby was obvious.

Things like "Most of the time people underestimated seeing as he was only a 10 year old at the time," and After about 3 years of that, so he would be 13 years old" are kind of redundant in all honesty. And the line about his mother calling him a mistake would make more sense in the last paragraph then the first. Also, I thought the desians only made the exebulas( I think that's what the monster version of Marble was called in the game) from humans in the ranch, not other desians , since the keycrests they had on them prevented that. Not to mention I don't recall the heroes fighting more than one of those at any point, if what happened to Marble and Clara in the game is what you mean by "Lifeless beings" Not to mention that if Charlie felt guilt from injuring Tristan by accident, why did he continue to train him? Did Tristan insist? The part about the training is sort of vague.

Well, that's all. Just revise the history a bit and the arm thing in personality, and it'll be ready for approval. Sorry if I sound like I'm being nitpicky, I'm just trying to point out some things that could cause trouble later, that's all.

[Soul]

Wow character and background looks great! It's very interesting and it's something we have yet to have in the boards! Fixing the problems Kudzu mentioned, I'm sure you'll then be ready to go.

I personally can't wait for his arrival. He'll be a wonderful addition to the community, haha.